A Mind Trap is any thought you have that gives you an excuse to not take action.
The allow you to have your built in automatic ‘reasons’ why you should not even try. Here are the top 6:
Mind Trap #1 – Expectation – This is a problem when you expect things to always go terribly wrong, and either let that stop you from moving at all or go into the situation with your state so screwed up that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What do you expect to happen?
How does that affect you?
Example – If I approach that girl, she will laugh at me and humiliate me in front of everybody. If I go for the job I want I will humiliate myself. If I ask a question everyone will think I am dumb.
Mind Trap #2 – Contingency – This is when you make one goal or act dependent upon another goal or goals happening first.
What does doing this allow you to avoid?
When you address the goal directly (think about taking step one toward the actual goal) how does that feel?
Example – Before I quit smoking, I need to lose 20 pounds and wait until spring so I will have things to do. Before I look for a job I need to get one more degree.
Mind Trap #3 – Projection – Letting others take the lead in your life by accepting their projections of what they think you should do.
Are you asking everyone else what you should do because you have a lack of confidence in your own ability?
What feelings come up when you think about doing what you want to do, without asking others what to do or thinking about what others expect of you?
Example: If I go for this job it will disappoint my friends. Everyone thinks I should do X so that is what I will do.
Mind Trap #4 – Perfection – This is the most powerful avoidance mechanism. By waiting until you know everything you can know about something, you can infinitely avoid any movement. When you sit and wait to find that elusive last piece of information you need before you try something you are in the perfection trap.
If I am perfect, then I am not X.
What does it allow you to avoid feeling?
If I am perfect, it means I am X.
Example – I will go out and anchor someone when I find the best way to elicit that state. I will open a business when I find the best one. I will speak in public when I am better than everyone.
Mind Trap #5 – Comparison – This is when you compare yourself to others to avoid moving forward.
I look stupid next to them.
Example – I can’t go back to grad school, because I don’t have enough energy to keep up with all of the younger people who I will be competing against. I won’t go to the gym because everyone else is in shape there.
Mind Trap #6 – Invalidation – This is when you find an exception to the rule to prove that you are correct in not moving forward or in your assessment of the situation.
-Not always
-It can happen
In order to be successful you need to do XYZ… Invalidation… I know someone who didn’t have to do it that way.
These mind traps hide in our everyday thinking. The become so much a part of our everyday lives that we don’t even see what we are doing to ourselves. On order to break free the first step is to see how you habitually stop yourself before you ever get moving. Why you do it is not as important as knowing that it is happening.
Change your thinking….change your life.
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