Trust… You can’t buy it. You can’t demand it. You can’t force it.

It is the one thing that is irreplaceable when you have lost it.

Some say you need to take the time and earn trust but you can have it almost instantly if you do a few simple things. Yes, there are 100s of things you can do long-term to gain trust but here are the top 5 that have the most impact and create instant trust. BTW, you still have to do the things to keep the trust.

WARNING: Once someone trusts you they hold you to a higher level of expectation. If you violate that trust you have a lot of work to do to regain it and we will cover that in a bit.

1. Relax. If you are tense then they will not trust you. Tension sets off a primal trigger in people. Your brain reacts to it and you automatically go on alert. When this happens you begin to sort for danger. You don’t begin to sort for reasons to trust someone. Position – Equal

The mistake… super powerful positive states. You are a jerk.

2. Be Genuine. Highly competent people can make themselves seem more approachable, and more trustworthy, by being a little clumsy or silly. It makes them seem vulnerable and warm. Position – Mildly subordinate

The mistake… trying to prove yourself as superior and thinking that gives you credibility. You appear arrogance and insecurity

3. Do what you say. If you came to talk about X then don’t skip to any other subject. Guy was selling turf but while he was selling that he started pushing other products and services while measuring the lawn. Not surprising he kept getting objections when it came time to close. Position – Leader

The mistake… Always be selling. Always be pushing. Desperation and neediness is what they see.

4. Be Honest. Even if you think that means you will fail. When asked a question you do not know the answer to, don’t fake it. Saying ‘I don’t know’ is more powerful than being wrong. You have to be comfortable knowing you can find the right answer for them and making sure it answers their question. Position – Guide

The mistake… fake it till you make it. They think you are incompetent and uniformed.

5. Focus on them. Many people make the mistake of talking themselves up because they feel it makes them more credible. That is true to a certain extent but then it becomes a warning bell. People begin to wonder why you have to TELL them how wonderful you are and what you are trying to cover up.

When you focus on them, they can feel your interest. The feel like what they think of you is important. Position – Student

The mistake… Build credibility by proving your success. What they see… Self-centered and disconnected.

Trust repair… what do do when you blow it… and you will 🙂

What not to do when you blow it:

• Say nothing and run away
• Defend their point
• Brush it off… diminish importance.
• Weak apology that makes you both wrong
• Blame miscommunication
• Beg and grovel, then do nothing else

Recovery

• Face the music- Set your ego aside and take the hit.
• Address the problem – Identify the real problem. This means LISTENING and noticing.
• Use objection destroyer, and then reboot and clarify.
  – Take the insult, move it aside and change position to recover.
• Bridging to solution – Offer a solution – I completely understand let me take care of this for you and show you I can do this.
  – Ask for a solution – I want to help what can I do to get this done for you
• Get agreement on the plan – I will do X …. bonus fire good bucket anchor
• Open that Subject – When in doubt… ask! When you see things going badly what you can do is ask a question. Is there something I need to go over?
  
  You look like you have a question?
  
  Is this fitting with your experience?
  
  Additional information this can give you: Question – lets you know they have a question
  Concern – makes you aware of their concern
  Validates you are going in the right direction
  Calibration point to understand what that response means
  
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