Confidence…. The Holy Grail of success.

The word gets tossed around like it is the cure for everything. Salespeople want it to be able to be a top producer.  Athletes want it in order to attain top performance. Men want it in order to ask a woman out. Women want it in order to ask a man out.

Everyone wants confidence!

Only one small problem… the whole concept is a trap. It becomes the universal excuse for doing nothing. I hear it over and over, ” If I were more confident I would do X”.  It is as if it the magic ingredient in a success that people think they are missing and if they find it then the life they have dreamed about will fall in their laps. Off they go reading books, listening to audios, and going to seminars in search of the magic pill of success.

Years go by… decades pass… opportunities come and leave… and still, they search for confidence.

So let me tell you about you. Here you are reading this and wondering. You have been waiting for this confidence thing to arrive. Your life is not what you want but you keep telling yourself that it will get better once you find … confidence. For some of you, the search has not been going on very long. You are in your 20s and still, think that you can find this thing. Some of you are in your 30s or 40s and life is beginning to pass you by. Others have just given up.

The one thing you have been missing is this… you are wanting confidence in order to stay SAFE!!! You think if you are confident that you can avoid feeling bad when you fail. You think that you can use this ‘confidence’ to overpower your insecurity.  You think that if you are a master of a skill that you will never feel bad about anything. You think that if you are confident that you will attract people you desire.

NEWSFLASH!!!

Your need for safety and predictability is your problem and no amount of any good feeling will ever overpower that.  It is like an addiction. Being addicted to comfort is worse than any drug you can imagine.

What is the answer?

There is only one answer and that is to do things even though you are scared of failing. Even though it might be humiliating. Even though you might suffer the pain of rejection. Even though it is going to hurt.

You don’t need confidence you need the ability to survive the pain of failure even though it sucks.

Success is an uncomfortable path and being able to have discomfort and still do things is how you succeed.

Honestly, if you are not uncomfortable on a regular basis your life is not moving anywhere. Every successful person I know understands the risk of discomfort and accepts that probability.

Stop waiting for confidence.  By the time you feel you have it… the opportunity will have passed.

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